I wanted to share two things in relation to this post. One Eleanor. First, the somewhat cliched notion about Russian private school mums clad in Chanel - mums of other nationalities aren’t like that, just the Russians stand out for their crazy whims? Private schools, like state ones, aren’t perfect but both have their wonderful merits. And failings too. Second, mental health vs social media. When I wrote about the dangers TikTok present for young minds a few years ago on my website, no journalist I approached at the time (nor a few celebrities) wanted to take up the conversation. And a platform for parents of school children initially refused to share the post - until I asked whether they advertised with them. Now bashing TikTok is a popular theme & even Royals are involved in the conversation - yet social platforms continue to erode individual confidence, by setting unrealistic standards & normalising the use of Botox in the 20s among other things. Mental health might be an epidemic, but to a degree we are all all complicit in making it reach pandemic levels. And parents often struggle with the issues in as much as their kids are
Hey Galina, the Russian mums in Chanel were real at the school my daughters went to in North London, in fact one was the mother of one of her very good friends. The poor girl hated the chauffeur, never saw her father, her mother was young and miserable... you are right they weren't just Russians, there was a super famous Indian lady who lived in a mansion with a live-in fleet of staff... the pastoral care of the kids was great as was the teaching but their friendships were weird because of the cohort. I wanted my girls to be more grounded and to have a circle of local mates so I took them out and that was a great call for them and us.
On social media: there is definitely evidence that it is damaging for young people in terms of the FOMO and unrealistic standards of everything - but it also exposes them to lots of other kinds of realities and communities. And it just IS for them, they are growing up in a world where they will have to deal with it... agree that parents are guilty too. My friend who is a child psychologist says there should be a nationwide campaign telling parents to TALK to their infants, babies and toddlers and not be on their phones while the kids are awake as it is so damaging to their brain development and sense of themselves that a screen is more important to the parent than they are... thanks for commenting so thoughtfully xxx
I have no doubt the Russian mums in Chanel were exactly as you described them, my point was that it's sort of a common stereotype regarding the Russians. Plenty of us not like that, who raise the children in similar ways you raise yours. That was really my point .) Sarah Thomas recently published a book called "Queen K" based on her tutoring experience of children of the super rich - and Russians were singled out too.
As to social media, of course there is good and bad, but the bad side was skirted for a long time and addressing it now seems slow and to a degree we lost a lot of precious time when many young adults state of mind and confidence have been damaged. We all have a choice of whether we want to be on those platforms or not - my latest experience with Instagram last week has been horrible & this type of behaviour by mega platforms is on the increase.
Agree about talking to kids, having meals together at the table with no phones etc - many schools now bring professionals to talk to children regularly about it. But I also remember the words of a friend of mine, who is also a child psychologist, who during the first national lockdown said to me "we will get over this pandemic, but the real pandemic will be the effect on our children's state of mind and we will be dealing with the consequences for decades" - it rang true then, feels truer than ever now.
Thank you for your reply and sharing your thoughts and experiences.
Love your insight and advice to spend time with the Gen Zers to understand them. That is what is needed! The ones I know are struggling and evolving as you describe, but also compassionate and brilliant. All we need to do is love and support them. ❣️
Great article. Downunder, my 18 yo is facing similar issues. Glad to know I’m not alone. She’s on antidepressants now and I have my daughter back from the self harming brink. Sadly, university is not what it once was here, for her shy and introverted self, meeting people to talk to only happens online. Lucky for me, we are holding hands through it all.
I love your positive attitude so much!
I wanted to share two things in relation to this post. One Eleanor. First, the somewhat cliched notion about Russian private school mums clad in Chanel - mums of other nationalities aren’t like that, just the Russians stand out for their crazy whims? Private schools, like state ones, aren’t perfect but both have their wonderful merits. And failings too. Second, mental health vs social media. When I wrote about the dangers TikTok present for young minds a few years ago on my website, no journalist I approached at the time (nor a few celebrities) wanted to take up the conversation. And a platform for parents of school children initially refused to share the post - until I asked whether they advertised with them. Now bashing TikTok is a popular theme & even Royals are involved in the conversation - yet social platforms continue to erode individual confidence, by setting unrealistic standards & normalising the use of Botox in the 20s among other things. Mental health might be an epidemic, but to a degree we are all all complicit in making it reach pandemic levels. And parents often struggle with the issues in as much as their kids are
Hey Galina, the Russian mums in Chanel were real at the school my daughters went to in North London, in fact one was the mother of one of her very good friends. The poor girl hated the chauffeur, never saw her father, her mother was young and miserable... you are right they weren't just Russians, there was a super famous Indian lady who lived in a mansion with a live-in fleet of staff... the pastoral care of the kids was great as was the teaching but their friendships were weird because of the cohort. I wanted my girls to be more grounded and to have a circle of local mates so I took them out and that was a great call for them and us.
On social media: there is definitely evidence that it is damaging for young people in terms of the FOMO and unrealistic standards of everything - but it also exposes them to lots of other kinds of realities and communities. And it just IS for them, they are growing up in a world where they will have to deal with it... agree that parents are guilty too. My friend who is a child psychologist says there should be a nationwide campaign telling parents to TALK to their infants, babies and toddlers and not be on their phones while the kids are awake as it is so damaging to their brain development and sense of themselves that a screen is more important to the parent than they are... thanks for commenting so thoughtfully xxx
Hey Eleanor,
I have no doubt the Russian mums in Chanel were exactly as you described them, my point was that it's sort of a common stereotype regarding the Russians. Plenty of us not like that, who raise the children in similar ways you raise yours. That was really my point .) Sarah Thomas recently published a book called "Queen K" based on her tutoring experience of children of the super rich - and Russians were singled out too.
As to social media, of course there is good and bad, but the bad side was skirted for a long time and addressing it now seems slow and to a degree we lost a lot of precious time when many young adults state of mind and confidence have been damaged. We all have a choice of whether we want to be on those platforms or not - my latest experience with Instagram last week has been horrible & this type of behaviour by mega platforms is on the increase.
Agree about talking to kids, having meals together at the table with no phones etc - many schools now bring professionals to talk to children regularly about it. But I also remember the words of a friend of mine, who is also a child psychologist, who during the first national lockdown said to me "we will get over this pandemic, but the real pandemic will be the effect on our children's state of mind and we will be dealing with the consequences for decades" - it rang true then, feels truer than ever now.
Thank you for your reply and sharing your thoughts and experiences.
Galina xxx
Love your insight and advice to spend time with the Gen Zers to understand them. That is what is needed! The ones I know are struggling and evolving as you describe, but also compassionate and brilliant. All we need to do is love and support them. ❣️
Great article. Downunder, my 18 yo is facing similar issues. Glad to know I’m not alone. She’s on antidepressants now and I have my daughter back from the self harming brink. Sadly, university is not what it once was here, for her shy and introverted self, meeting people to talk to only happens online. Lucky for me, we are holding hands through it all.